Challenges in life are inevitable, if and how we deal with these challenges is up to us. Resilience is a buzzword on social media and trumpeted as a critical key to persevering our goals in life. But what exactly is Resilience and how can we develop it:
Resilience is our ability to bounce back when we experience challenges in life.
Differently said, the stronger our resilience, the quicker we get up and continue moving to our goals.
There are three fundamental keys to developing resilient action.
1. Inspiring Goal
First of all, we need to have an inspiring goal, something that propels us forward. If we don’t set goals that excite us, why would we even do the hard work in the first place?
To develop inspiring goals, we need to become emotionally invested in what we want to achieve. What is it exactly, who else is there, what will we see that is different, what will we feel and hear, etc.
The more specific we can feel and experience our goal, the more attracted and inspired we feel to achieve it.
2. Empowering Story
Challenges will come, but it is how we deal with them that defines our ability to bounce back quickly. A major problem many people experience is that they get lost and see their challenges as permanent, immovable objects.
For example, someone might get rejected for a job. And then it happens again, and then, again.
What often happens is that person starts to believe: “nobody will hire me, I am unwanted” or something of that nature.
However, that is the STORY they make up in their mind.
It is so important to be able to distinguish FACTS from STORY.
FACTS are what a video camera records, they are indisputable. It is what we hear, what we see, and what we feel.
The FACTS are: “I applied for 3 jobs and I did not get hired”. That’s it.
Notice how different that would feel compared to “Nobody wants to hire me”.
Since we make up stories anyway, let us make up stories that empower us.
For example, let’s change the FACT of “I applied for 3 jobs and I did not get hired” to an empowering STORY that makes us feel good:
- “The universe has a much better role waiting for me”
- “Every time I didn’t get hired, I learned something new that will help me with my next application”
3. Trust Circle
The third critical key for resilience is to establish a ‘Trust Circle’. A Trust Circle is a person or a group of people who genuinely care about you and your success. They believe in you, they want to help you and they know that you will be successful.
This is the type of person who, whilst you are speaking with them, just seems to uplift your energy and state.
We don’t need many people in our Trust Circle, but we do need someone who is there for us when the going gets tough.
Think about this, who do you trust to share your wildest dreams and ambitions with? Who is that person you know will support you and help you and truly listen to you when you need it most?
Ideally, this is also a person you have easy access to, preferably in person, but in the worst case, via telephone.
Your Trust Circle can contain a mentor, a coach, a friend, your partner, or a family member. It doesn’t matter who, as long as you trust them and know they uplift your energy.
These are the 3 fundamental keys to developing resilience and your ability to bounce back from challenges. Applying these keys in your life, and you will be able to create magic in your life.