There is great power in patience. Not only for ourselves, but for the people around us. As adults, we go through life with the expectation of ‘it needs to happen right now’. That’s fine and dandy for most of us, but it becomes difficult with that pressure to sometimes identify when we need to
step back and pause.

When we watch toddlers learning to walk, we have the expectation of their ability to walk, but we never begin with a time frame. We’re patient for them. Why can’t we do that for others?

Even when they grow up and become teenagers, we still create a space of learning that they are able to find their own way in life. Applying patience in their learning means they can make it their own instead of having forced upon them.

I know that in the last 12 months I haven’t always applied patience to myself.

When finishing up at my previous job and whilst still looking for a new job I felt rushed, with a sense of urgency that if I didn’t meet my own deadlines, I was a failure. As this feeling of dread and overwhelm crept up on me I paused and began to think it through. Looking back at all the steps that
I had taken to even get there I could see I had already crammed so many things into my life and still achieved them. This desire I had created to be three steps ahead of where I was didn’t factor in the 20 achievements already made.

This perspective changed everything. I wasn’t sending out a vibe of panic any more. Instead, a calm confidence went forward before me and helped me find a new pathway I hadn’t seen amongst my stress.

Patience applies strongly when in a relationship. I am totally sure that everyone has had their own experience to test that patience. However, when I think of my relationships and how they tie together with all this talk of patience, only one moment comes to mind.

My partner, at the time, and I were driving in the car. During this trip, I could sense that something was off. Following my gut feeling, I enquired and received a response I knew was covering their true feelings. I didn’t chase this any further, because I could already feel the emotional walls going up. We sat in silence for 10 minutes, but suddenly my partner blurted out everything on her mind and showed how she was really feeling. In that moment I knew I wouldn’t have received that openness if I asked more questions, it was only the space of patience that allowed for this.

My challenge for you is to find one moment a week where you physically or mentally stop yourself and ask ‘how would I treat this situation if I was patient?’.

Sometimes I live in my head. Analysing everything, overthinking, becoming so absorbed in what I am DO-ing, I find myself needing to set alarms to remind me to take a break, drink some water, even go to the toilet! I put this down to being incredibly passionate about my work and the impact I wish to make in the world. And yes, there is some truth in that… but there is also an excuse.

How often to we resist, avoid and escape from what we are actually feeling in our bodies?

Finding myself yearning to get the hell out of my head and into my heart, I decided to commit to some daily rituals that had me tuning into myself at a deep level. Being fully present with myself, in my body. And I lived to tell the tale!

A few months ago I came across a group of ladies who had decided to take on a 100-hour meditation challenge, which involved committing to meditating for one hour each day for 100 days. This appealed to me as I was seeking ways to get back to BE-ing rather than DO-ing (after all, we are indeed Human BEings). I decided to join the challenge and enjoyed the thought of having accountability buddies throughout the journey. As part of the challenge, we were asked to post a video reflection of our meditation experience each day, sharing the struggles, insights, curiosities etc.

I set a morning ritual of waking, peeing, then setting my alarm for 1 hour and sitting in silent meditation for one whole hour. To say the experience was powerful was an understatement. Some days my mind would not shut up… I did the shopping, my housework, cooked tea… all in my head. Some days I got glimpses of peace… just breathing and experiencing the pause between each breath. Some days I received incredible insight about something I was not always conscious of having on my mind. The key to getting the most out of each kind of experience? No self -judgement! I learnt to have compassion for myself and my incredibly interesting brain. I let go of expectations and started to take a stance of curiosity. Experiencing my meditation as an observer.

I fulfilled my goal of meditating for one hour each day for 100 days. I had no idea of the implications of this until I started noticing my mind tuning into what my body was feeling throughout the day. I felt it when it let me know it needed to move, it needed nourishment, it needed to relax. I am truly loving this new relationship with my body… and my mind is appreciating the break.

Heather has used his analogy a number of times when we have enjoyed a smorgasbord of information and new learning. She has told us to “put it in the fridge” just like when you get fresh milk you put it in the fridge to wait for the cream to rise to the top.

I have been reminded of this recently. After sitting with and processing a number of issues, the gifts from the “issues” began to come forth. Thicker and faster and I ended up in quite a deluge of emotions, ideas, revelations, questions and answers.

Where do I start? I was asking myself. Like a kid in a candy store, I wanted to try everything right away. But I was confused too, not knowing where I should begin with this new information. Should I do things methodically? Or as they come up? So many questions.

When we are desperate to see change, it is easy to get just as bogged down by the answers we discover. So instead of feeling like we should “have it all together now” as the revelations are presented, take some time, make a cup of peppermint tea, and wait for the milk to settle in the fridge overnight.

Given time, parts of the revelations will rise to the top, and there begins our new focal point. Patience is a virtue, being gentle with yourself is key, but putting the milk in the fridge is vital.

Did you ever play a game where you had to choose what three items you would have if you were stranded on an island?

Some would take the strategic path and choose objects for survival. Others would choose items for enjoyment and make it their own party island.

What if you were placed on the island and three random objects were already there? How would you survive?

This situation is how we sometimes go about life. We are living on our own island with no one to help us. Only our past experiences and gained knowledge. When on this island, we have a very limited view. Limiting beliefs of ourselves and our achievements.

What if I gave you a boat for your island? Would you explore the seas or stay comfortable on your island? That’s your choice.

Everyone else is on their own island. With their own lived experiences. Wisdom and knowledge to be shared. If you dare to take this boat you will find people who are of similar mind or willing to combine resources.

As you explore this world you may lose your direction but with the help of other individuals, you can find your way and build your boat into a ship. Gathering others who are lost or need help.

The best thing about this is that the longer the people are on the ship it begins to turn into something else, a ‘relation-ship’. I know it’s corny, and that’s okay.

Look for people who will help build you up to sail the high seas. People who get you, and understand what you’re saying. Together you can gain many new experiences.

Or you could stay on your own island and never know of the world out there.

That’s your choice.

Remember back when mum said, “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all”?

I think she was onto something (not that I appreciated it back then).

In today’s world, people seem to be more concerned about having their say rather than the implications of what they say, particularly via social media platforms. Online bullying, judgemental comments and highly opinionated arguments are taking place on a regular basis. People can be quite unkind, claiming they are in the right because they are being ‘honest and authentic.’

In my world, the concept of  ‘speaking with good purpose’ is a common one amongst both our team and the Green SuperCamp Family at large. Being one of the Eight Keys of Excellence taught at our Green SuperCamp program, I was recently asked what kind of strategy can be used to ensure this key is lived fully. I think this really sums it up nicely (courtesy of a Facebook Meme currently going viral).

T – Is it true?

H – Is it helpful?

I – Is it Inspiring?

N – Is it Necessary?

K – Is it Kind?

If we all paused and ran what we were about to say through this ‘filter’, imagine the change in relationships, communication and general vibe! You can still be honest and authentic, whilst maintaining empathy, kindness and love. No matter how difficult or challenging a conversation is, it really is worth taking that pause and making sure that what you say is from your heart, rather than your ego.

“It always works out”, reflecting on my learnings from a week in Bali relating to leadership & culture.

My key learning comes from our minor challenges:

A flight delay, heavy rain when we were meant to have a big dinner outside, transport not showing up as planned.

No matter what happened, regardless of brief frustration, I always found myself smiling and enjoying the adventure – KNOWING that it would work out anyway.

And it always did.

The specifics weren’t always feasible: we had to change course, find alternatives, but in the end, we did have an amazing holiday.

The same applies to our lives – our personal & professional goals.

Looking back at the different shifts I made in life, the passions and goals I pursued, in a way, it always worked out.

Sometimes, that detour or that delay, in fact, is a blessing in disguise.

Whilst we might experience frustration when we are comparing where we are to where we might think we should be, WHEN WE DARE to look carefully, we will find that in fact ‘it always does work out’ and we do get to where we really want to go.

LEADING from this BASIC TRUST – that it always works out– and by trusting the process reinforces a more positive, trusting work culture for both yourself and your team.

 

It has always fascinated me how we attach emotions and stories to some words.

Let’s take, for example, the word ‘work’. What does this feel like to you?

A few weeks ago, I had a conversation with a friend about how I feel like I am working really hard and not really prioritising time for fun at the moment. Then I made the statement “I am working on prioritising fun”. The irony of which made me stop and giggle… Really Jodi… you are WORKING on prioritising FUN?

So I decided to play a little game with myself and tune into when I use the word ‘work’ (and in what context) and replace the word with ‘play’… just to see (and feel) the difference in energy around these words for me.

I was blown away by the results! One little word change created a completely different feeling in me in relation to each statement. Here are some of the ones I caught myself using:

I am working on that = I am playing on that.

It is such hard work = It is such hard play

As a young girl growing up in the country, I had the freedom of thousands of acres of land on which to run, play, adventure and create, as well as 3 brothers with whom to share those adventures.  Miles form the nearest neighbours, we could be forgiven for thinking we were alone in the world.  Yet, my darling mum had rules about how the clothes must be hung on the line, with the underwear on the inside lines and all the pants hanging together, just in case someone dropped in and saw the clothes line.  Even then, some 40 plus years ago, I would sigh and say, “really mum, what does it matter?”.

Being more of the persuasion of “who cares what others think of me”, it was somewhat baffling to me to make sense of balancing the need to just get the washing dry with my mother’s need to have things “look right”.  Then I grew up and realised this was a micro demonstration of one of life’s true challenges.

It seems life is a continual journey of wanting to be our true authentic self and trying to be what other people want, need or expect of us.  Pulled left and pushed right, we sometimes forget to honour our own truth and walk our own path.  Indeed, if we bend and mould to the needs of others for long enough, we can become completely disconnected from our own truth and that inner wisdom that could so powerfully guide our journey.

There’s a strong social discourse for women (and indeed for men too) about what it means to be a woman, mother, wife, daughter, sister, community member and so on.  But who makes these rules and who sets the expectations?  My sense is we all do, yet we seldom stop to reflect on the impact of these social expectations on how we live our lives.  Handed blindly from one generation to the next, we end up conforming to these expectations and wearing the ill-fitting and out-dated garments of the past.

When finally the garment rubs like hessian, we are usually well into our adult years and too entrenched in the patterns of serving others to know what’s happening to us, how to deal with it or to whom we can go to even share the deeply guarded truth that we’re struggling.  After all, I’m surely the ONLY one who feels like this, right?

This is the power of finding your tribe – that unique group of people who genuinely want you to simply be your best and will stand with you and by you whilst you shake off the old garments and create your own new ones!  This is a group where sharing your struggles and vulnerability builds connection and meaning, rather than judgement.  The human soul seeks connection, understanding and belonging, yet we all too often rob ourselves of the opportunity to experience this because of our own judgement and the need to wear the cloak of happiness – a garment that keeps us apart from others.

“Today you are You, that’s truer than true.  There’s no-one alive who is Youer than You”, Dr Seuss.