Our Default Drama is that core limiting belief that comes along to lure us into the belief that we are somehow not enough. Quite simply, it prevents us from living fully and authentically. Usually based in childhood or formative years, the Default Drama can be caused by events that triggered trauma, stress, fear, guilt, shame, or other negative emotions that were not processed or released. When the Default Drama shows up, we can guarantee it will negatively affect our physical, mental, and emotional well-being, as well as our relationships, career, and happiness.
We can try to suppress its negative vice like grip, which is tiring and ineffective, or we can learn to dance with it instead.
The first thing to acknowledge about a Default Drama is that everyone has one. That is EVERYONE! The advantage comes from knowing what ours is so we can see it showing up, and when it does, we can begin the dance. When we feel that sense of uneasiness creeping in, we can ask ourselves “If I knew my Default Drama was involved here, how would I respond and what would I do differently?”
We do not deny our emotions. We simply observe and become curious about their origins and intentions. When initially identifying our Default Drama, it may be beneficial to journal feelings or discuss with a trusted friend or mentor. But there is one thing we need to know about it. Our Default Drama is there to keep us safe in our “stuckness” and clearly somewhere we do not want to live.
Learning to dance with our DD comes when we feel the familiar traits of its presence, recognise it is at play and then rather than push it away, we acknowledge the emotions and remind ourselves that the DD is there to diminish our responses.
Once we know there is a core limiting belief that we are entertaining, we are free to question its validity. Sure enough, we find that truth lies on the other side of our fears, and that we can then choose to recognise the fears and anxiety and respectfully decline the offer to live in that space.
Our dance continues when we know what triggers our DD, whereby we can head it off at the pass or employ strategies to deal with it. We can ask ourselves questions “Is this belief true?” “Is this belief helpful?” “What evidence do I have for or against this belief?” “What would I tell a friend who had this belief?” By challenging our limiting beliefs, we are opening ourselves to new perspectives and possibilities.
Default Dramas are no match for Gratitude. A Default Drama of “I always make mistakes” can behave very differently with an affirmation of gratitude of “I am worthy” or “I am capable.” When we acknowledge our gratitude for all our wonderful qualities, our abilities and our appreciation for all life has given to us and taught us, Default Dramas take a back seat and allow us to create a more optimistic and empowering mindset.
Learning to dance with our Default Drama allows us to celebrate all it is to be human with all our imperfections. It prompts us to overcome core limiting beliefs and move forward with confidence and courage. Everyone has a Default Drama! Do you know what yours is?
