Let’s Tango (aka Dancing with our Default Drama) by Claire Clifton

Our Default Drama is that core limiting belief that lures us into thinking we are somehow not enough. Quite simply, it prevents us from living fully and authentically. Often rooted in childhood or formative years, the Default Drama stems from events that triggered trauma, stress, fear, guilt, shame, or other negative emotions that were never fully processed or released. When it shows up, it can negatively impact our physical, mental, and emotional well-being, as well as our relationships, careers, and overall happiness.

We can try to suppress its grip, but that’s exhausting and ineffective—or we can learn to dance with it instead.

Recognising the Default Drama

The first thing to acknowledge about a Default Drama is that everyone has one—yes, EVERYONE! The advantage comes from identifying our own so we can recognize when it appears and take control of how we respond. When we feel uneasiness creeping in, we can ask ourselves:

“If I knew my Default Drama was involved here, how would I respond and what would I do differently?”

We don’t need to deny our emotions. Instead, we can observe them with curiosity, understanding their origins and intentions. When first identifying our Default Drama, journaling or discussing it with a trusted friend or mentor can be beneficial. But one truth remains: our Default Drama exists to keep us “safe” in our stuckness—somewhere we don’t want to stay.

Learning to Dance with Our Default Drama

Dancing with our Default Drama means recognizing its presence, acknowledging our emotions, and refusing to let it diminish our responses. Once we realize we are entertaining a core limiting belief, we gain the power to question its validity. More often than not, we discover that truth lies beyond our fears.

To challenge our limiting beliefs, we can ask ourselves:

• Is this belief true?
• Is this belief helpful?
• What evidence do I have for or against this belief?
• What would I tell a friend who had this belief?

By questioning our limiting beliefs, we open ourselves to new perspectives and possibilities.

Gratitude: The Antidote to Default Drama

Default Dramas are no match for gratitude. A Default Drama like “I always make mistakes” can be reprogrammed with affirmations of gratitude such as “I am worthy” or “I am capable.” When we express gratitude for our strengths, abilities, and life lessons, our Default Drama takes a back seat, allowing us to create a more optimistic and empowering mindset.

Embracing the Dance

Learning to dance with our Default Drama allows us to celebrate our humanity—flaws and all. It empowers us to overcome limiting beliefs, move forward with confidence, and embrace personal growth.

Everyone has a Default Drama. Do you know what yours is?